I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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