I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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