I want to walk on stilts...naked
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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