DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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