Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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