Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So squirting runs in the family.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
