i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
