Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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