I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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