Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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