Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
