Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
