Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
