a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
