I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
