I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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