i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
