Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Congratulations! We have a period
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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