i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
