Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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