you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
