So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
