Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So vagazzling was a success
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize