Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
