Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
