If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
