there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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