booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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