Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
