I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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