Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
