somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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