It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
