I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
