There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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