escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
