What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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