That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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