It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I need a beard to bite.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
