nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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