around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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