You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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