i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
