You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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