How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
