He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
