i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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