I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
