And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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