He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
