Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
