I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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