Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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