Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
