That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Terrible idea I love it
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
