Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
