If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
