Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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