Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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