On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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