everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
